Big update soon to come.

When emotions overwhelm me, I blog.

Tonight, get ready for a big post... Maybe not!

"last night lasted forever."

Stupidest song ever!

New feature: Hora'ah of the week.

First of all... Ki Sir'eh Chamor Sona'acha Rovetz Tachas Maso'oi... Check it out.

But the lesson I'm taking from this brilliant video that a friend sent me is: Sometimes in life, the weight of the baggage we are carrying gets too heavy and overwhelming for us. Should we continue pushing forward and risk losing everything, or perhaps we should rest and relax for a bit?

This video shows how one must sometimes let things 'hang' and chill out. Relax, take a break from the load and eventually you'll 'land again' and you'll have to strength and the help to continue moving forward with even more strength and convinction.

Good luck in all our Avoda's.

I'm so tired...

Today was such a tiring day. Science usually determines tiring days based on how many hours of sleep a person had the night before.

Today was no different. My day was tiring and hectic based on my sleepless night Nechten Bai Nacht.

You see, last night I decided that I wanted to see what kind of "day at the bakery" I would have if I barely get any sleep. So I did the test. It came out so awesome... Though I am beyond wiped at the moment.

I came to the bakery this morning... Wobbled around and did five shows today. They were so much fun. Except toward the end, when the museum started with the public shows.

A tiring, hungry day can wear down on ya' and that's exactly what happened.

Though today was a big "day at the museum." Manishewitz came. They brought their new children entertaining mascot "Magic Max" to make balloons and give out stupid disposable wands to all the kids. He was wearing this huge goofy looking wand costume that barely allowed him to move around.

Officially Manishewitz donated some big stuph to the museum, so today was "breath-in-and-make-as-if-we're-a-perfect-organization" day. I was told that this Magic Max (Who is by the way the cheesiest marketing method for Kosher Manoshewitz KAK!) is going to show up at our 12:30 show and I should somehow stick him into the show...

It was horrible.

I tried to pull a Matza out of my bakers hat as some sort of Magic trick that Magic Max showed me. But I pulled a Manishewitz Matza box out of the hat instead... Nobody laughed. Why did I even think that anything I do associating myself with Manishewitz is ever going to be appealing or funny in any way??!!

This Magic Max guy at least was wearing a costume, so nobody could see him. I on the other hand am making a total mess of myself in full glory!!!

At least I was overtired. That came in very handy. I kacked on everyone and did whatever I wanted today. So that was coo'

Well anyways, after the museum I crashed at the apartment and then began the fun. I was so overtired.

I remember once blogging about the best posts coming up when a person is overtired, About the world being a better place when everyone is overtired.

Well tonight in my apartment, two overtired individuals came up with two incredible blogging post ideas which we thought fitting to post. I was one of the lucky overtired individuals who had so much fun tonight discussing these ideas. (We had a third idea, but it's really too stupid to write.)

So...

Idea #1:

Isn't it cool, the contrast of yesteryear and today. Could you imagine thousands of years ago, when people lived longer... The scene in some Medical center in Charan, Cana'an...

Doctor enters Mesushelach's hospital room with his face solemn and serious.

Mesushelach: Hey doc'. What's goin' on?

Doctor: I'm afraid not so good Mesushelach.

Mesushelach: What do you mean? How did the tests go?

Doctor: Not too well. I'm afraid the tests we made determine that you don't have too much time left.

Mesushelach abruptly sits up in bed alarmed.

Mesushelach: What do you mean? What is it? Tell me DOC'!!

Doctor: Oh alright. The Kidney's are giving in slowly... We don't think you have much time left... We give you between (pauses) two hundred, three hundred more years to live max. The disease is incurable and there's just nothing we can do. I'm so sorry.

Mesushelach: (Gasps and then begins sobbing lightly) I guess everyone has their time. Seven hundred years of living and now death attacks ya' like that.

Doctor: Yeah. I'm so sorry.

...

People lived differently. When Adam heard the doctor tell him that he had another hundred years or so to live, he probably thought "Gosh! I better start spending time with family!!"

You see the way we take life for granted nowadays??!!

Okay. The second thought that we had was an idea to open up a pizza shop and call it "cheeses crust." I know it sounds Frai. But it's the greatest feeling to be able to legally scream that name at the top of your lungs.

We can also alternatively have "The passion of the crust."

... Okay ma. That was quite uncalled for I guess.

Good night everyone. May we blog Gezunterheit, Freilicherheit un Fahrenheit

Arm wrestling... Russian style.

Russen Faust - MyVideo

I thought this video was absolutely awesome.

Just one Shabbos and I'll be enslaved...

This past Shabbos I felt like the antithesis of MBD's song 'just one Shabbos and we'll all be free'. It felt sort of like my last Shabbos and I feel like I didn't use it out enough. But then again, nothing I would have done would have made me feel good inside. Perhaps that's because I don't want to feel good inside. I want to feel all Yichee and depressed. I've become accustomed to that feeling in the past and it feels good to catch up again with that Yichee feeling of depression... You know, we'll catch up on times long gone... Speak about my days in Ottawa and the horrible memories that that brings. Some other times which best not be mentioned on the happy blog. (weeeee. Very random)

Shabbos had its cool moments. Friday night was awesome in every way (except the bad one). I ate with many, we had many interesting discussions. Discussions on Judaism and illusions (see... I told you I'd blog about it :)).
Today I woke up rather late. Davvened, heard Borchu, Kedusha, Krias HaTorah, Kesser. Who would have thought that after waking up the time I did I would be able to still catch the Minyan?? I was surprised myself. But I finished Davvening, then I went over to my buddy Rabbi G's house and had the meal with all the other Ottawa Bochurim who are still in town. It was so much fun. We sang, laughed, threw nutty chews at each other and were jolly all day through... Just like a Shabbos Parshas Vayikrah should be like.

So... Four more days. Four more days... Four more days!

Funny Hashbrocho Tochis story.

This is an email I received from my Kalla (Keinihora, zolst leben mit lange gezunte yohren). I asked her permission to blog this.

She bought boots, and then attempted to get them shipped quicker by any possible means. She expected to get an automated reply, but instead she got a really cool email back. Check it out!

.............................................................................................................

On 19 Mar 2007 15:56:10 -0700, orders@nordstrom.com wrote: > >

[image: Nordstrom.com] [image: > Nordstrom.com]

To make sure you continue to receive our e-mails in > your inbox (not sent to bulk or junk folders), please add > orders@nordstrom.com to your address book. > >

Dear Afroson, > >

Thank you for shopping at Nordstrom.com !

-----Original Message----- From: "Censored by The Mitzvah Man to say afroson" (???) Sent: Mar 21, 2007 1:35:52 PM Subject: Re: Your Nordstrom.com Order Request Has Been Received

HI, I understand that the order could take 5-8 days. I was wondering if you were able to send it to me by friday March 23, (those boots are so cool and i have a date on friday night so, I'm kind of trying to impress the guy..)

Thank you!

'Afroson'

Dear afroson, Thank you very much for contacting Nordstrom.com regarding your order, 9530455. The BCBGirls 'Kenny' Boots, color Black Brumas Tumbled, in size 6M. I know you must be really looking forward to a fun date, and to the boots arriving in time! In researching, I found that they shipped out today, March 21st, to your *CENSORED BY BLOGGER* address. With standard shipping, the order ships via United States Postal Service, and we allow 5-8 business days for the order to transit to you. Based on this guideline, I honestly do not think they will arrive by Friday, and I do really apologize for that. To help you, I have attached the DHL tracking number and DHL website tracking link for you. We use DHL to get your order to your local United States Postal Service for delivery to your door. Tracking: *Censored by blogger again* DHL Link: *Consored yet again by THE MITZVAH MAN... For the heck of it*

When you see arrival at your local post office location, you may expect delivery the following day. Ms. Rosdal, I hope you have a great evening on Friday, even without the boots. You can always wear them on the second date! Again, my most sincere apologies. If I can offer any further assistance at all, please let me know via Live Help, e-mail or by calling 888.282.6060. Enjoy those boots, and thank you for choosing to shop Nordstrom.com!

Warmest regards,

Teresa P.

Internet Customer Service Nordstrom Direct

Visit us again at: http://www.nordstrom.com/ Be the first to know about trends, sales and events through our E-mail Updates. If you would like to sign up for Nordstrom e-mails or update your preferences, click here.

Just a piece of a diary of mine which I looked over and thought to be pretty cool.

So, I'm back to you dear diary. I have alot of feelings to write down, so that I guarantee that I never forget the best moments of my life. Unless my life is only going to get better and I'm going to want to forget these moments and profile them as decent memories (I hope).
Memories are usually enjoyed when they're good ones. People with bad memories always try to forget them. Naturally, memories are desired and enjoyed when they're good ones.
Sit back, look at pictures of good ole' days and enjoy the past... That can only be fully appreciated when the person is not in middle of enjoying himself. If he's bored now, he's going to lie in bed and look at old days when he wasn't bored and was having a grand time. That will make him feel fuzzy inside.

What if the person is never bored? What if every moment of the person's life keeps getting better and better? He looks back at pictures and events in his life that were amazing, but when he compares them with the experiences that he's going through during that very moment, he realizes that he's having so much more fun than years ago. Life keeps getting better and better. There is no time for reminincing. He's having too much fun for that. THAT'S LIFE!

Late Thursday night. Preparing for Shabbos.

So, I've barely posted this past week and feel compelled to add some more trash to this slowly growing blog.

My week had its cool moments.

I have the coolest Kalla on earth (Just thought it neccessary to mention). I experienced the dating scene from another perspective this past week. It was cool... But I still want it the other way around. (If you do not understand, don't dispair... It will come to you one day.)

... Which reminds me...

I'm still waiting for the 25 year old bachelor to ask me what engagement is like, so that I'll be able to tilt my head, squint my eyes in thoughtfulness, smirk and say "Friend, you'll find out when you're older!" (ooo the Taiveh!)

Matza Bakery was different this week. More lonely. For reasons... Correction: for a reason. I did all the shows. One cool thing about the Matzah Bakery shows is that every single show is pretty much different. It's nothing like the Maccabees show. Not as intense, not as long and much better pay. I'm happy about that.

Tzivos Hashem had another one of their dinners tonight. I popped in, said my hello's, ate my portion (and what a portion) and then headed upstairs to my feature thrill... Blogging.

So that pretty much sums up my week. I also got the Tallis and the Gartel... Whoever got those for me, I'm going to marry. Thanks so much.

One happy thought that passed through me when I looked over at the calendar hanging beside my bed with all my little notes and kaka written on it. Today was supposed to be my national day of depression. My Kalla was supposed to leave home today... My Modeh Ani is going to be very different tommorow. I will thank Hashem for giving the inspiration to stay another week.

... But in another 5 days though... OY!

Good Shabbos.

I will now post the Proverb fun der voch to ease up on the depressing atmosphere that I've created around me.

Proverb fun der voch: Life is like an elevator... Depending on what buttons you push, you can go either up or down. (Sometimes you need special exclusive cards to go all the way up and get into certain floors and stuff... Welcome to the Jewish Children's museum.)

Josh of the week!

This weeks Josh of the week was actually stolen from another website that Josh posted on. I laughed alot when I read it and then decided to copy and paste it onto my blog. Go ahead, SUE ME!

Josh of the week: I'd like to take this opportunity and then give it back later when I'm done.

Just a thought!

So this morning I woke up and found my apartment to be very cold. I was not in a good mood. Tired, late and grumpy is usually a very good recipe to some cool thoughts. and Today was one of those days.
As I was spraying deodorant, I noted to my roommate how cold the deodorant was and the complaint struck me.

Why in Heck did they create deodorant that is so cold? Do people actually enjoy freezing their underarms with that stuff? I hate it. It gives me chills, it doesn't feel good, it makes me cringe every time I spray it.
Deodorant is supposed to feel warm and fuzzy on you. NOT COLD AND NUMBING!

That's all. Though I have tons more to blog about... Most of it is inappropriate for the blog. (Heehee... Think Forest think!)

One of the funniest moments of my life.

I don't know if I've ever in my life had a funnier 10 minutes of laughing in my life. My head is killing and my stomache hurts from this one.

Then again... It may just be that I'm tired.

Typical sign in China.

This is a typical sign you'll find in China and I'm going to post it in honor of my long abandoned Missoyim which I called "Chinese lessons"
This is "Chinese Lesson #3"... Our last Chinese lesson was almost a year ago. So here's the next one in the series.

Figure out what this means, then go figure out the english translation.

Ciao!

Snow, Snow, SNOW!!

That's all there was the entire Thursday night and Friday. Frankly it sucked. Most people I met complained about it. I kinda' agreed with them deep down inside.

But then I decided to look at it a bit differently.

Two things I changed my views on.

Firstly, the snow and cold weather was cool. Because it's days like those that make us appreciate the summer. Without those days, summer wouldn't be all that cool.

Secondly, why is everyone complaining about the cold weather right after it begins getting warm outside? They make as if it was supposed to be warm, and Hashem went ahead and ticked the Dor HoAcharon off again by changing the nice weather to Kak!

Perhaps, just maybe it was supposed to be cold the entire last week, but in Hashem's infinite loving-kindness, he decided to grant the Dor Rishon Shel GeUlah with nice sunny weather.

For the sun and warmth I am thankful and hope that he will bestow his goodness upon us once again with nice weather. But thank you Hashem for just being your wonderful self.

The picture of the bench above reminds me of a humorous ocassion I had this past winter while in Montreal... I can't talk about it here on the blog. But it made me laugh. It had to do with a snow covered park bench.

The other picture shows how footprints in the snow represent uniqueness and individuality. You can walk down Kingston and see thousands of footprints in the snow covered walkways. But remember, each track of footprints are different. Some are square heels, some are thin high heels, some are huge Galoshes, some are small kiddy boots. But they all represent the path of each individual for himself. Nobody can copy the other. I thought that was cool to note!

Gutt Voch!

In honor of Brucy-pumpkin.

Our last "Josh of the week" troubled brucy-pie a little. In his honor, I present a bonus "Josh of the week" for this week. We don't usually put two of them up in one week. But in honor of this special occasion we will.

Josh of the week: "Indecision may be the root of all evil.
... But then again, it may not!"

Good Shabbos to all.

Does Hashem ever do anything to you, where you know that he was most definitely trying to hint you something, but you can't seem to figure out the code? That kinda' just happened to me a few minutes ago in Judaica world... This world is very weird.

... as a very funny comedian "Steven Wright" once said: "It's a small world... But I wouldn't want to paint it.

Some batteries are rechargeable..

Josh of the week and Proverb fun der voch!

This week we have a special "Josh of the week."

We also have a "Proverb fun der voch" compliments of Yisrolik.

Josh of the week: A more environmentally friendly method of a doorbell would be to place (green*) bubblewrap underneath the welcome mat.

Proverb fun der voch: Life is like a battery... When it dies, you throw it out. (ah-luh-lo)

* The color green on the bubblewrap is to express the environmental friendliness of the concept.

Pictures of our worst show thus far... But media deceives.

http://www.col.org.il/show_news.rtx?artID=27956

Pesach is coming!

I love stealing pictures from Shmit's blog and posting them on this blog. He complains that Shturem.net steals his pictures and he wants them to send him a free camera for it.

Teehee

I love the controversy.

In other news, somehow Shimi from Tzivos Hashem convinced me to help out with the Chidon this year again. I don't know how I even commited the little bit that I did. But now I'm in a serious hole. I need to go on this trip with a whole bunch of Lubavich kid geniuses...

Who wants to go tubing with geniuses?? I want to go snow tubing with a whole bunch of lowlifes... That way I'm guaranteed to have an action-packed fun time.

Side note: this doesn't in any way mean that my last snow-tubing trip wasn't fun. It was a total blast, even though it was with a whole bunch of geniuses... It's just different...

Good day to all. I'm dead tired. I was up so late last night at this wedding of some guy I barely even knew. I tried singing at the wedding with a few other friends, but this other kid came up and starts attempting his own harmonies right in my ear. I could barely even keep my own tune with this annoying cacaphone going off beside me. It was horrible.
So I'm tired and grumpy. The way I like it.

Stupidity after a wedding in CH!

I cursed out someone I know for watching movies today... I felt so proud of myself, now I feel like Kak!

Don't worry worried folks... One of these days, the Heiligeh Aibishter is going to bestow his grace upon me and inspire me with wisdon to once again feel happy and fuzzy inside, thus allowing me to type up some crazy idea which may make me look back in a few years and chuckle to myself whilst reading it... But not yet. For now I'm serious. I'm seriously not in a happy "go get 'em" type of mood.

I'm in a different type of mood that I can't really publicize on this blog. That's how sick I feel inside.


Good night!

Chaim Mendelson becoming first Chaplain of Canada since 60 years!

A real cool video for me to be proud of. Chaim Mendelson is the Rabbi of Chabad of Centerpointe... A Chabad house just outside of Ottawa city. He is really a great man indeed!

In response to next thursday.

(Stay focused on the depression and yes the bruise will come...
even though i wish i could protect the punch from getting to you,

but if you keep your eyes over that horizon..if you watch in your mind the day where azmus screams its way under the chupa...where awsomeness takes place in one short moment...when you make the knot,when you give that ring, when you say those words.

Then you have it, it's just no there yet

Keep your eyes over THAT horizon and you will see hudreds of Horizons...an amazing view that will keep you from getting hurt by just one horizon, and will make you apperciate it in the same time.)


watch me sob every day, take antidepressants and vitamins...o well

Cool photo!

There's got to be lots of depth to this one.

Yechi requiring cleansing... Somebody?!

Weird day. I'm tired and loving it. Sometimes too many things come up at once. That pressures me into sitting in front of a computer screen, spacing out, then just letting the world know of all the pressures and things in life that I begin to take for granted. After that I'll have a bagel with cream cheese, just before my phone rings and I sign off to take the call...

(Gosh! I think this was the most insane post I've ever written. I'm so excited, it's almost making me sick.)

Good night baffled readers

Does life get boring?

Does it?

I haven't figured it out yet. But I did get one step closer to the answer this morning, when I decided that doing Matzah bakery like five times a day for a month straight does. (Except in certain circumstances. ViHameivin Yovin.)

I'm back from Montreal and getting into the swing of things.

That was one memorable trip. I had so much fun and it was so worth it. I'm kinda' just posting, because I see that I haven't put in a decent post in almost a half a week. So I'm going to blabber again.

Together with the Gantzer Mishpocho we went tubing on Sunday. We had an awesome game-night and pizza on Motzaei Shabbos. Such a cool Shabbos.

I finally put in my passport application on friday. Visited Zeidy.

... All in all, the trip was packed and fun.

Have you ever seen depression coming towards you on the horizon? You just sit there and watch it as it inches its way forward and becomes bigger and bigger. Sort of like an approaching tornado (Hence the photo).

There are two ways of battling the depression... You can either run away from its imposing shadow. Or you can sit down, cuddle up and close your eyes until the depression passes.

Some say that you can even stand tall and almost physically beat the depression with your bare hands (hypothetically speaking obviously). They say that the strength of the human will can overcome anything.

I'm watching depression make its way closer and closer. It feels like I'm going to be very sad sometime around next Thursday.

Should I run away from it? Cuddle up and suffer through the storm, or stand up and fight the depression with everything I've got? hmmmm...

Running away means instant defeat. The depression beats me as soon as I turn my back on it.

Bearing and suffering through it may not allow the depression a victory over me. But it's definitely taking a chance and does not let me grow. I'll be the same Yatzmach after the storm hits as I was before. That's not so cool and there's no thrill. It's as if I'm just going to bite down hard and swallow when the doctor gives me a shot... No fun at all. Just bearing the suffering.

The last option sounds the coolest. I'm going to remain standing and see what powers the depression actually contains. The question will NOT be "can I bear the depression?" It will be "Can the depression bear me??!!"

I will stand up tall, lift up my arms above my head and beckon to the depression like a champion boxer inviting his opponent to the ring.

I will not give in to this spiritual and mental terrorism. I will fight!When the doctor puts the needle into me, I will not bite down and bear it. I will scream and yell as loudly as I can, waking up all the other patients in the whole darn clinic. Heck's I'll even poke the doctor in the eye if the chance arises. I will not go down easily and everyone will know that I overcame all the obstacles that tried to stop me from my violent rampage of life!!

Gosh I'm pumped... GIVE ME AN APPLE!!!

Just a cool pointer for me to remember...

Having a Kallah visit home for Shabbos is really cool...

Gutte Voch!

Another thing that fits my mood:

One of the only good things about cold winters is the fact that if you're hot, you can get a cup of ice cold water from the tap in 7 seconds flat!!

Proverb "fun der voch"!

Life is like an avocado...

It may look green and nasty, but it's packed with yumminess all the way to the pits.

Thought for the day (from someone who's engaged)

One of the hardest parts of being engaged is hanging up the phone.

It's so weird, how such an easy physical act can become so mentally difficult.

Purim in Hong Kong

David and my cuz.

I can't believe she already walx... I remember her when she was littee bittee baby (cootchee coo)

STEVEN!!

Techno purim... BEEG TAING!

My main man Dan!

And the Beinunis DJ!

Taken from Shmit.blogspot

Oy do I ever have Tshukois to this place!!

G-d why did I get drunk??!!

Purim is the day when we remember the good vs. the evil. We are reminded and thank Hashem for the fact that he chose us as a holy nation. We are the Aidel, pure and ever-kind nation that has lasted miraculously for thousands of years. So... One would think that in order to express our happiness and gratitude to the Riboinoi shel oilim for the miracle over those wicked, drunken lowlife's, we should make Kiddush, read Megillah and be Jewishly happy as any other Jewish festivus demands.
But no!! We get totally plastered on Purim! We drink and end up losing our sense of control, which makes us on most occasions do stupid things. So plastered we get, that everyone who wasn't 'lucky' enough to get drunk and actually remembers the show you put up, comes up to you on the next day (which is also a holiday called Shushan Purim NOT FOR NO REASON!) and nudges you in the ribs, winks at you, puts on the 'I know what you did last summer' smirk and says "So... Purple underwear huh??!" (Okay, that was just an idea thrown out. Nothing realistic.)
Why??!! Hashem why??!! Why did I have to have that little bit of Levi's Mashke when HE couldn't even finish it. It wasn't like I drank that much. It would usually take ten times as much Mashke to get me drunk. But yesterday Hashem had mercy on me and made me drunk on a measly quarter of a bottle. I'm very upset about it. I'm upset about the vulnerability that I put myself into. I was still a human being, but totally out of control. It was being not me inside of me!! It's such a scary thought. What if I would have said some stupid thing to someone yesterday (and that's a very general statement in case anyone is wondering) and they would have thought I wasn't totally out-of-it and looked at me differently forever??!!

Perhaps I shouldn't care, because after all... That's who I really am and me revealing my real self is a good thing, even though I feel like my life is screwed up from the moment I 'divulged' those "secrets".

Por ejemplo... A good buddy of mine, who was with me in my 'hour-of-blankness' calls me up a few minutes ago. This is the type of conversation we had:

Friend: "Hey B. I wanted to remind you of something you said last night to Sholom Ber in his house, but I figured you remembered."

B.: "Huh? No I don't remember. Tell me."

Friend: "Naa, forget it. You'd be way too embarrassed anyways."

B.: "Okay, now seriously tell me. I want to know what in the world I said so that I'll know how embarrassed to feel next taing I see him."

Friend: "No way! Forget it... It was something about ... and ... and ... But I'm not telling you anymore. You would shoot yourself in the head the moment you hear it.

B.: (Getting ready to shoot Friend in the head...) "Okay, now you'd better freeking tell me. This is disgusting and against Halacha to be doing this to me now! Tell me you KAK!! I will shoot myself if you don't tell me."

Friend: "Okay, I was only kidding. Seriously. I just wanted to see how you'd react.

B.: "How am I supposed to trust you now. You're probably too scared to tell me, so you're making as if you were only joking. I hate you! Tell me what I said now... I cannot handle Zees.

Friend: "No seriously... I was only kidding. This is so cool. You're going to be more upset now about this because you're going to be mentally driven insane. But I was really only joking. I'll call you later."

B.: "You - Censored to say "frenchy with an empty Right Guard spray can... For the past eight years!!! - . I'm upset. Very upset. That was not a nice joke if it even was a joke. I love you. Bye!

...

So this is what I'm talking about. The stress that being drunk puts you under. I don't even know what I did wrong to be able to correct it. I don't know if my life is going to be totally different from now on... and so I ask why?!!

People think that I'm a Chassidisher Bochur, then one of these things comes along and blows me right out of my hole!

I got drunk once before several years ago Purim. The day after that is also a day I don't like reminiscing about. One of the Shluchim of the Yeshiva came up to me smiling and he says "Yasher Koiach"

"For what?" I innocently asked.

"Because you showed me that I'm also human like you..."

What's that supposed to mean??!! He wouldn't tell me what I told him, but he smiles at me now every time I see because I proved to him that he's also human like me... I don't know. I'm ticked and I feel that everyone in the world who suffers from checking out this blog and the long annoying posts I write should know about it.

Last note: The pictures above are as follows:

1) Me lying in Sholom Ber's bathroom (I think it's before the vomiting erupted)

2) Some picture of a random mouse lying by a bottle of Mashke and visibly happy.

3) Bubby Baumgarten playing on the guitar which I took along last night. She was probably composing a song on how she hates drunk people with a passion... THE PASSION OF THE - Censored to say Not Moses -

Bye somber world and sorry for this long post. Maybe I should go and get drunk tonight. That definitely would help me take away the stress of today's 'post'dunkeness...

L'chaim!

Video for the wedding!

Really cute!

Getting ready for Purim.

So everyone is getting ready for Purim. Costumes are flying around town. I don't have anything to wear, except for maybe a pair fo sunglasses and a weird jacket.
Maybe I'll rip something off from the Maccabees costume stock in the museum.
I don't know. I'm just checking in to wish everyone a Good Shabbos and a Freilichen Purim. I have to run now to get some more nosh for my Shalach manos... Wait until I post some pictures of the Shalach Manos I'm getting for my apartment mates... hehe!

Video for Mosh!

So... I just came across this video on my hard-drive and Yisrolik told me that in honor of Purim coming up I need to upload it to youtube.
So I uploaded it.
It's the real story of two Bochurim who went to Chabad of Hong Kong after Pesach this past year and began learning Smicha. Without a Shoiel Umeishiv to assist them in the difficulties they encountered, they were forced to get the answers they needed from friends who lived over the great Pacific ocean on the land of the Americas. The only problem was, that they were 12 hours ahead of New York, so they had to make sure that the phone calls coincided with normal American times when they would be able to call their friends and ask them the questions on learning.
This particular friend was who they called on this particular day was named Moshe. He was a wonderful Bochur and a great friend who helped them out alot.
... But... The 2 Bochurim from Hong Kong were in some sort of mood and, totally unbeknown to Moshe, they weren't paying too much attention to the problems being solved over the phone... Enjoy!

Note to Moshe: I'm sorry we never showed this to you earlier... But in general, you did help us out alot... It was just one of those days when Juanito put too much pepper in the eggs. You know!!
Note to Kallah: Please ignore this all. Consider it my brother George who I never told you about.

General statistics

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.

A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.

A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

Purim is coming... I am fasting

Today is the fast of Esther, hence the fast'age'ing that I am in the midst of.
Someone is screaming in the office down the hall and I can't help but wonder why in the world he's screaming during a fast. It's going to make him hungry and he is going to have a crabby day. Let him push off his stress to tomorrow.

Purim is coming and I'm not so crazy about it. At least not as crazy as I was last year or the year before that. I just don't know what's about to happen and I'm possibly scared.

I'll bet every single orthodox blog is going to have an update today. After all, it's a fast day today, so what else do people do on fast days other than update their blogs and watch movies (oops, did I just say that?)

So as my head spins and my tummy grumbles, I will let my fingers out of their cage and wreak havoc on this keyboard as I attempt to update this blog with all of my KAK (aka: eh-ih).

I'm beginning to enjoy doing the Model Matzah Bakery for Shvartzeh kids. After all, those are the only shows I've done so far.

I've entertained four Shvartzeh groups already and haven't even begun with the Jewish kids. I think Shvartzeh's are cool for the show. They don't know anything about Matzah and anything I tell them is immediately absorbed... Things like "Okay, now we're going to all dive into the dough pot and swim around for about an hour... It's part of our Jewish tradition you know" are readily accepted by these Shvartzeh's.

They are so coo'.

So Purim is when we can legally be crazy. All through the rest of the year we need to be 'normal', but on Purim we can "drink and be merry" as they put it.

Yisrolik got burned today during the Matzah Bakery.

My other apartment mate cut his arms in the shower, when the shower doors crashed into a million tiny pieces (haha... That being said in full Purim spirit, where I cannot differentiate between laughing or crying!).

In the photograph above, notice the Yarlmuka... One of mine.

I'm all out of thoughts. I had tons of stuph to speak about this morning. But now I'm all blank!

Oh right! Last night was cool. I come home and Yisrolik freeks the Hecht out of me... He saw a mouse and heard two more. I reacted naturally... I put on shoes and began calling in the reinforcements...

These mice will not live to see real freedom. I will hunt them down and take every last one of them to their doom. I will kill two of them mercilessly and leave the other, last remaining lucky mouse a cripple, so that he can crawl back and tell his friends not to step foot near our basement again... Regardless of how many cookie crumbs may be lingering around my 'crib'.

So, there I was standing on my bed waiting to go and get Neggel Vasser. I had to first let the mice know that I was in the vicinity and they should keep clear. I meowed, barked and even crowed to scare them away. My roommate thought it to be humorous. I thought it to be tactic. (huh?)... It was one good, fun night with lots of laughing. But let the word be known... My wrath will be unleashed against these cursed little creatures of Sholosh Klipos Hatmai'os. They are to be abolished from this world of goodness with whatever means necessary. And only after... only after we are freed from their wretched grasp, will our Heiligeh Moshiach be able to be revealed within our very own "Basements" Shebikirbeinu. Once we have spiritually exterminated all those mice from our internal basements of garbage and follies - where spiritual "cookie crumbs" lie all over the mess - Only then, can we allow G-dliness and good to enter within us.

And let us all say DIE MICE DIE!! (Amen.)

Oh! uh-nuthur feetchur videe-oe will bee put up on thiss blog thatss shur too tick off a veree good frend of maw-yin. But aw-yi will leev that for neckst powst. Itss a video aw-yi just uplowded the videe-oe to yootoob.

A Freilichen Purim to everyone!

Discussion technique

A woman has the last word in any argument.

Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

How to Stop People From Bugging You About Getting Married.

For all the singles out there (not for long iyh)

Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and
cackling, telling me, "You're
next." They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at
funerals.