How do you explain that #1
I had some really interesting thoughts and discussions these past few days with members of our community.
I've decided that I'd like to write down some of the thoughts and ideas that passed through our conversations while trying to explain and justify various Judaic themes and customs.
So, for my first entry, I go back to several months ago, when we were having the popular debate about men and women mixing in the Synagogue during services.
We were sitting around the Shabbos table in Shul, when one woman brought up the question to Sonia and I, commenting how men and women sitting separate in Shul just doesn't jive well with her and she would feel much more comfortable if the Shul would be more 'family oriented' and less gender segregating.
...
Before I tell over the beautiful explanation that Sonia gave to everyone present, I'd like to dwell and elaborate on the question a bit more... Because truthfully, it's a fantastic question. Something that many Westernized Jews are troubled by.
After such tremendous development and growth in the last few decades with regard to equality for women and family values, where the rigid, extreme differences between the genders have become softened and molded together as one, why must the prayer service come and jeopradize these significant, very beneficial accomplishments.
When men and women come to Shul and must sit separate, with a dividing curtain between the two, it gives a negative impression and perhaps makes both genders feel as if Judaism is still living in a pre-modernized culture... A very real stereotype generally attributed to Chassidic Jews, who seem to be living in a much earlier time period.
So, what is the explanation?
...
Well, I must give credit where it is due, Sonia is the one who nailed the answer right away and I was extremely impressed by it, which is why I've chosen to preserve this answer for eternity, by writing it on m'blawg.
Sonia says the following (paraphrasing):
This common question is all based on a universal misconception of prayer.
With the development of Western culture and general religious theology (apart from the Jewish way of thinking), the concept and meaning of prayer became less about G-d and more about the self.
In other words, when the other religions pray, while indeed they may meditate and create some intimate, personal time to connect with G-d, it is however all about them, their needs and their spiritual fulfillment that is the goal of the prayer. They are covering their own selfish existence with more and more spirituality and love.
In such a circumstance, when you envelop the prayer service in a warm, fuzzy ambiance, then the spiritual achievement and inspirational satisfaction is maximized. If such is the way of your prayers, then by all means, family and friends should be sitting together, lovingly supporting each other in their climb to spiritual greatness. To enforce limits, boundaries and division of communal unity will only hinder the potential blissful experience of the prayers.
That however, is the grave misconception of the Jewish prayer experience.
The Jewish prayer service is a polar opposite to the global opinion.
Prayer is the abnegation of self. It is the time when we meditate on G-d, spirituality and our own life, with the intent of minimizing our ego's. Instead of focusing on filling ourselves up with as much inspiration and spirituality as possible, we 'strip' ourselves from our selfish feelings, losing our 'self-centeredness' to the higher reality of G-d.
When one toils in such matters, he must be left to himself. He is searching the deepest components of his soul and must be left alone. Being around people is harmful and negative to this endeavor.
It is as if prayer is the spiritual locker room of the soul. Just as locker rooms are kept separate between men and women, because each one is exposing him or herself and therefore they need their exclusive privacy, the same is with the soul during prayer. When one undresses his soul of its negativity and selfishness in the prayer locker room, genders cannot mesh and remain together. They must respect each other's space and privacy.
This is the Jewish view of prayer. It is imperative that men and women do not mix and create a false, only selfish feeling of fuzz and spirituality, when in truth, one must remove the layers of selfishness and ego, in order to truly experience the G-dly transformation and become a better person.
***
With that, Sonia silenced the nay-sayers and her husband encountered a new-found appreciation to her wisdom and wit.
Although this is all for tonight, I would still like to write my thoughts on:
I've decided that I'd like to write down some of the thoughts and ideas that passed through our conversations while trying to explain and justify various Judaic themes and customs.
So, for my first entry, I go back to several months ago, when we were having the popular debate about men and women mixing in the Synagogue during services.
We were sitting around the Shabbos table in Shul, when one woman brought up the question to Sonia and I, commenting how men and women sitting separate in Shul just doesn't jive well with her and she would feel much more comfortable if the Shul would be more 'family oriented' and less gender segregating.
...
Before I tell over the beautiful explanation that Sonia gave to everyone present, I'd like to dwell and elaborate on the question a bit more... Because truthfully, it's a fantastic question. Something that many Westernized Jews are troubled by.
After such tremendous development and growth in the last few decades with regard to equality for women and family values, where the rigid, extreme differences between the genders have become softened and molded together as one, why must the prayer service come and jeopradize these significant, very beneficial accomplishments.
When men and women come to Shul and must sit separate, with a dividing curtain between the two, it gives a negative impression and perhaps makes both genders feel as if Judaism is still living in a pre-modernized culture... A very real stereotype generally attributed to Chassidic Jews, who seem to be living in a much earlier time period.
So, what is the explanation?
...
Well, I must give credit where it is due, Sonia is the one who nailed the answer right away and I was extremely impressed by it, which is why I've chosen to preserve this answer for eternity, by writing it on m'blawg.
Sonia says the following (paraphrasing):
This common question is all based on a universal misconception of prayer.
With the development of Western culture and general religious theology (apart from the Jewish way of thinking), the concept and meaning of prayer became less about G-d and more about the self.
In other words, when the other religions pray, while indeed they may meditate and create some intimate, personal time to connect with G-d, it is however all about them, their needs and their spiritual fulfillment that is the goal of the prayer. They are covering their own selfish existence with more and more spirituality and love.
In such a circumstance, when you envelop the prayer service in a warm, fuzzy ambiance, then the spiritual achievement and inspirational satisfaction is maximized. If such is the way of your prayers, then by all means, family and friends should be sitting together, lovingly supporting each other in their climb to spiritual greatness. To enforce limits, boundaries and division of communal unity will only hinder the potential blissful experience of the prayers.
That however, is the grave misconception of the Jewish prayer experience.
The Jewish prayer service is a polar opposite to the global opinion.
Prayer is the abnegation of self. It is the time when we meditate on G-d, spirituality and our own life, with the intent of minimizing our ego's. Instead of focusing on filling ourselves up with as much inspiration and spirituality as possible, we 'strip' ourselves from our selfish feelings, losing our 'self-centeredness' to the higher reality of G-d.
When one toils in such matters, he must be left to himself. He is searching the deepest components of his soul and must be left alone. Being around people is harmful and negative to this endeavor.
It is as if prayer is the spiritual locker room of the soul. Just as locker rooms are kept separate between men and women, because each one is exposing him or herself and therefore they need their exclusive privacy, the same is with the soul during prayer. When one undresses his soul of its negativity and selfishness in the prayer locker room, genders cannot mesh and remain together. They must respect each other's space and privacy.
This is the Jewish view of prayer. It is imperative that men and women do not mix and create a false, only selfish feeling of fuzz and spirituality, when in truth, one must remove the layers of selfishness and ego, in order to truly experience the G-dly transformation and become a better person.
***
With that, Sonia silenced the nay-sayers and her husband encountered a new-found appreciation to her wisdom and wit.
Although this is all for tonight, I would still like to write my thoughts on:
- Marriage for love vs. the Jewish way to marriage... Why the Jewish way is holier and works, while the universal, love way has less chance of survival.
- Yishmael's depth vs. Yitzchak's depth and why Judaism is one step deeper than Islam.
Well, that's all for now folks.
g'nite
posted by Benny at Monday, September 05, 2011
2 Comments:
Hi Benny,
When I was in Vallarta, this question came up, and our response was a little more pragmatic:
We focused on the concentration aspect and reminded them that when other women are with you including your wife, its just very hard to keep your concentration on davening or thinking of hashem... We all know the power of hormons vdal...
The above reason is why in the besi hamikdosh they made a upstairs gallery instead of diferent sections, because men and women ended up mingling and asking for each others dor yeshorim numbers vdal.....!
I know. That's the very practical reason given... But the moshol of davvening being a locker room for the soul seems to fit nicely and resonated well with our crowd.
There's also the alternative, Yossi Jacobson one... When we separate men and women, because when the Rabbi gives his sermon, everyone falls asleep... And for men and women to be 'sleeping' together in a Shul??!! That's too much!!
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