Toichen... True love and other stuff.

BTW, the most toichen'dige film that I ever watched was the Lion King. Although not very Chassidish, I watched it as a child and the message still resonates inside of me. "Your Fadda' is in you!"

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In other news...

Recently, a fellow from our community decided to abandon his marriage and run off with another woman whom he had met several months ago. I was asked to get involved and help out. The problem was that the wife of this fellow is not Jewish. He was intermarried. So I was stuck between telling our community member just how valuable and important it is the maintain and be committed to family, yet I also had to tell him that he wasn't allowed to be with his wife either, because she isn't Jewish!!

While I was talking to him, he told me that basically, over the last few years, he had fallen out of love with his wife and had found this alternative which keeps him happy... A new woman.

And that got me thinking on the following concept.

True love. Two things.

Love... Everyone knows what that is.

Truth... Hmmmm... Now where do I recognize that from?

Well, this afternoon I thought about it a bit and decided to share it with the world.

When we analyze "true love", there seems to be a slight difficulty with it.

"True love" by definition means that there is such a thing as "not-true love." There must be some form of love and attraction which is devoid of truth, hence, it is false. The false love is but a mirage. It is attraction without any substance or reality to it. Dissolving into nothing with time.

And so I think some more.

From all the fairy tales, it seems like true love comes with luck and it arrives in an instant...

The prince is prancing around, eagerly seeking his "true love"... The princess is nestled away in her castle, tormented by her curse, which can only be broken when she finds true love.

And then the movie reaches its climax... The handsome prince slays the dragon, finally meets the beautiful princess (who may or may not be a frog) and alas they have found each other. The story is over and all of the viewers go home to imagine and dream that they too will perhaps eventually encounter and chance upon their own true love.

Yet how wrong and mistaken the movie is from reality.

Let us embark on the journey of my mind and figure this thing out.

• Question: How can love possibly be false? Isn't any feeling inside of me real? Nobody can delegitimize the things that my heart is attracted to and repulsed by. That's exclusively for me to decide and the feelings to me are as real as anything!!
• Elaboration: If I love potato chips, then I have a 'true love' to potato chips... Same is with playing golf, doing laundry or getting married! How can someone dare challenge the feelings I have inside and label them as "not-true love!!"
• Interesting: Apparently, this is where the world gets it right. The world defines 'true love' by how Chassidus defines 'truth'. In Chassidus, 'truth' is defined as something that will last forever.
• Which means...: If there is something that will exist for only several years and will eventually fade away, then our Torah deems it 'false'... Neharot Hamechazvin, the false waters discussed in the Torah is a certain river which would dry up once every seven years. Because of this deficiency in its existence, it was therefore unable to purify certain individuals who needed purification. In other words, truth MUST be something that lasts forever and will never dissapear.
• And so: The same is with True love. It must be a feeling of love that will remain throughout time. If love is eventually going to fade away, then it cannot be deemed true.
• That's the first point to inhale...
• Another point: Truth is also the fusion of opposites. When two opposites come together, they create truth! Indeed, our world is one where truth rings. For although our world is physical and false... But when we introduce holiness and spirituality into our universe, we have combined two opposing forces and created a brand new existence of truth.
• More elaborate: Our Torah is truth, because it fuses the spiritual with the Physical... In Kabbala, there are three parts to the Kabbalistic tree. The right side (ChaCha'N), then there is the left side (BaGa'H) and finally the central line, which is the line of truth (Da'Ti'im). Why is the center the line of truth? Because it is the fusion of both opposite characters, emotions and intellectual capacities.
• However: In order to achieve truth through combination, each opposite must be on the same wavelength... They must be able to be combined.
• Which means: that if you combine a human with an animal, something that is a totally different creature, then you will never get truth between them. At the end of the day, they are two totally different entities that cannot possibly be combined in a healthy way... Man and Woman are two diametrically opposed creations, yet they both share the fact that they are humans... Thus, when they come together in marriage, they are forming a true bond.
• But...: Like previously stated, if two people are on two different wavelengths, then they can never create a 'true' bond!
• And therefore: Truth must be shared with someone who fully clicks... Both physically and spiritually. A Jew must marry another Jew in order to find True Love! Any other way, will make it impossible to achieve absolute truth in their love.
• Yet: There must also be a fusion of the two opposites. If one of the parties in a relationship is not interested in investing the effort to perfect, nurture and develop the love between the two people, then truth cannot be felt... Because one must work very hard on encountering and uncovering the truth that lies at the heart of a healthy feeling of love.
• And so in conclusion: True love can only be shared Jew to Jew... But it can be attained only through hard work. It's not an instantaneous feeling of love that automatically is true. In order to tap into truth, one must work hard... One must fuse two opposites into one, loving relationship!

And that's my rant... I'm so tired and need to go to sleep. I'm sure this post is going to look horrible tomorrow.