One more Shidduch point to make.

Because of all of the comments and complaints about the Shidduch system and all other aspects of the global Frum Shidduch crisis... I would like to point out something that I think very important:

The set up Shidduch system that we have in our Frum circles, does not begin at dating age.
No indeedy!
The Jewish Shidduch system begins when the child is born.
I'm not talking about having marriages arranged while children are still in the womb ("Oh my gosh! I had a boy two years ago and you just gave birth to a beautiful baby girl three days ago, let's hook them up!!" I'm not talking about that.)
I am referring to the preparation and time that leads up to Shidduch dating.
We see time and again, that the classic Shadchan system works best when dealing with a Chassidishe boy and a Chassidishe girl... Yes, people who have not been exposed to such modern and vivid physicality when they were younger, tend to find their mate much easier and live happier lives because of it. That is our Shidduch system and that system should never ever change. We need to change ourselves and get back on track!! We need to banish all this exposure to such horrible Gashmius and Klipah.

"But Benny, you're being unrealistic! There is no way from stopping our Jewish world from being exposed to Hollywood and the brainwashing that it gives to the youth nowadays!!"
Bla bla bla... Yes there is a way. It's difficult. But necessary. It means genuinely following the directives and laws from our Torah, Rabonim and being Chassidim of the Rebbe. I'm not asking us to become ancient.

I'm not saying to banish internet, television and radio and turn into Shtetel Jews.
I'm saying that Television should be transformed into Rebbe video's.
- Yes, that's right. Movies are wrong! (One of the biggest problems nowadays is Frum people going around and claiming that since movies are so part of our lives, it means that they are okay and Muttar.Oy!)
I'm saying that radio's should be transformed into holy sound waves of Torah passing through the air.
- Yes, Goyishe musis is wrong!
I'm saying that the internet be used to transfer and publicize holiness and goodness to a troubled outside world.
- Yes, it should be limited and watched and certainly the games nowadays should be banned (just like movies).
I'm saying that we teach our children and drill it into them from a very young age, that all this technology is meant for us to inspire others. Not for us to get influenced by others.
I'm saying that by keeping our children very busy with doing positive things and inspiring others, it will eliminate their time and opporunities to sit and be Mekabel and soak in all the Grohbkeit that is out there, thus rusting and destroying their brain and Neshama.
It will thus make our children just as tech savvy with technology, yet naiive about such worldy things... Perhaps even knowlegable enough to diffrenciate between Physical thin air and spiritual reality, when their inevitable, independent challenges arise.

That way, when the children grow up, they tend to appreciate something that is true.
That way, when they need to date and find a Shidduch - K'Loshon collive - Size 2 means nothing to them. They see beauty for what beauty really is. No matter fat or skinny, short or tall, hairy or bald, smart or dumb... It doesn't matter. Beauty in its purest form. Beauty is something that real. It is even beyond someone having a 'good character'.

...

Which reminds me, that telling someone that their wife should be physically beautiful to them is important and the right thing.
Telling them that physical looks isn't everything, because eventually, after 4 kids the woman will be ugly, is the wrong thing. That is first of all not necessarily true. It also makes the wrong message. That is not why someone should define beauty by the girls character.

And so, in conclusion...
If you were brought up Chassidish and at least 'know' what is true, then you should not have a hard time finding your Bashert and appreciating her for what she is forever. Shadchan or not.
If you were exposed to a more physical definition of beauty and that is what's important to you, then you should know your failing... Know that you have a problem - Not the system - and learn lots and lots of Chassidus, until when you finally date, you can honestly say that the woman you marry is beautiful, because she IS beautiful.
Also because she is smart.
Also because she is Beautiful.
Also because she is caring.
Also because she is perhaps fun.
Also because she is Chassidish.
Also because she has good character.

Beauty is everything.

I am extremely tired and very thinky today.

Ciao. Hasta manana.