Rosh Chodesh Tammuz post.
In this post, I will not discuss Rosh Chodesh or even Tammuz for that matter. I will but only relate to the world what is happening in my life at this present time.
It is Sunday, yet I still woke up early thanks to the wonderful kinderlach. I went to bed at 3am last night, but who cares. The kids wake up and I need to be there to help take care of them, so I dully comply and follow them around in auto-pilot, watching them destroy the small home we are staying in.
Kovi is eating pretzels. Menny is now finally sleeping. Sonia is trying to catch a few 'Z's as well, and I have the chance to blog. So I blog. What do I blog about you ask?? Nothing. Absolutely nothing... And it's good!
***
Gimmel Tammuz is in two days and I have done nothing about it. I have been getting real depressed lately about my Shlichus.
I think it's when a Shliach from a far away place comes to Crown Heights and realizes that here is a 'life' that he could have very easily chosen, where the children have friends and they are clearly happy and content. There are Minyonim everywhere you turn. Kosher food is a breeze... It makes my weakened Judaic state on Shlichus much more depressing. It's like I do not want to go back even if I'm paid. I want to stay here and answer amen in the MInyan all day long... I want to randomly go into the bakery and buy Kovi a danish for breakfast and watch him happily skip along on Kingston eating it... I want to be able to sit back and watch Kovi and Menny playing with other Jewish kids their age, smiling and laughing with their friends who will grow up together with them and help them out in everything.
But alas, I have decided to dedicate my life to something higher.
* So we don't regularly have a Minyan. Even when we do have a chance occasion to say a Kaddish or read from the Torah, I never have a moment to sit back and appreciate it, because I am too busy trying to make sure that everything will run smoothly.
* So I can't randomly stop in stores and buy foods for my wife or kids. Danishes and even bread are not available in Cabo. Sonia is amazing. She bakes fresh bread from scratch almost every day and thus, we are able to stay healthy and nourished with Kosher food while on Shlichus in Cabo... But it is not easy.
* So Kovi doesn't have a single other kid his age in Cabo who is Jewish and we can really encourage to get close to and develop a relationship with. All the other kids his age from our community are not Jewish and have Jewish fathers. It's so heartbreaking to watch Kovi roam the house during the day and not be able to take him to 'his friends. All we can do, is hope to the Aibishter and our loving and caring Rebbe that the statistics of Los Cabos being a fast growing city is true, and that soon enough we will have some Jewish families move to Cabo with kids who are Kovi and Menny's age.
But this is the decision that we've made and we will make the best of it... Nay! We will not only make the best of it, we will actually blossom and shine through it all, making this darkness and this depression into the brightest of lights for Hashem and for our entire blessed world.
That's all I was thinking about.
Just some regular Shlichus feelings.
This is me signing off: sign off!
posted by the Mitzvah man! at Sunday, June 13, 2010
6 Comments:
Benny you are a massive inspiration for me.
I always wait for there to be another post on your blog so that i can sit and tune into what a Shliach goes through.
keep up your great work in brining up a beautiful family, and making the Rebbe really smile.
your F.B.I
Yisroel
Intense stuph Bentzionkl, classic Benny authenticity, love it! youre my anti-bullshite hero!
youre giving me a whole new appreciation for CH. i guess you can value something once you leave it. i remember my first simchas torah helping a shliach, we didnt have a minyan the first night hakofas, it was a culture shock to see the shliach propelling his six and a half chevreh around a folding table with a half-kosher torah singing more to himself than to anyone else. suddenly the concept of shlichus was so irrational, or course you dont see this on the annual jem production... but thats nothing compared to YOUR simchas torah! unfreekinbelievable!
its interesting that you mention minyan a lot. because i stopped "getting" the whole concept of minyan a couple of years ago. to me, its totally lmaalah mitaam vudaas. the predictability of the minyan routine became a contradiction to any possibility of an authentic davening. yet for you, this is what you want so bad, i admire you rabbino Benny!
i think ill blog about it
This comment has been removed by the author.
berele suggests that you have the most learned guy in cabo take care of the shul.
I say, when living in crown heights, all of that is taken for granted, but coming in once in a while, you learn to appreciate it so much more!
Coodo's to you!
wow! so inspiring Benny...
awsome post
i have so much more to add...what about kovi coming home and humming a rebbe song because 200 years ago some big chossid got imprisoned?
or playing with menchies and calling them mendel and reb shimon shliome and toghether they have to get rid of the yetzer horo?
what about kovi walking to shul on shabbos and getting all those oldrabbis with long white beards stop, stare and with a smile wish him a gutten shabbos (shabbos not shabbat)
k i want to go on but im tired
gnite
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