Motzaei Shabbos, Chof Beis Shvat.

I was so inspired the other night, as I casually reminisced last years happenings, which were described so detailed on my blog.
Chof Beis Shvat post.
Engagement.

This time of year is always so exciting.
I don't know why (Or perhaps I do know why, but I just can't admit it... jk)

A famous theory which was so well described by a close friend of mine. It's sort of a "Josh of the week" (remember those?)... "In this world, there is what's normal and then there is the 'norm'"
Normal: Normal is what's described and defined in the Torah as the proper and 'normal' way of life for a person to live by.
The Norm: The norm is the way the world translates what's normal and what's not.
Example: It's normal to wear nice, loose clothing which cover your body and don't boast any parts of you which should remain private and exclusive for the world. It's 'the norm' to wear open, tight clothing which show off any and every possible areas of the human anatomy.

And lastly... Marriage is so much about change.
When someone gets married, they are deciding to bring into their lives an entirely new person, whom they've only been together with for a couple of hours.
Mothers, Fathers, Brothers, Sisters and closest friends are somewhat abandoned in the new couples challenge of fusing together as one.
It can be very hard for family and friends to accept that... After all, the family, nor the closest friend were consulted whether or not the newfound spouse is good enough to join into the relationship.
When my brother got engaged and married... It took me like three months until I was able to accept the fact that the entire relationship between him and myself was dramatically changing forever. He was always busy with his special 'someone' and seemed to never have time to be with me. I felt like such 'kak' about it and sort of resented him.
But!!! After awhile, I finally came to the slow realization that he was doing the right thing. I realized that all the anger that I harbored to him and his wife were so selfish and wrong. They were doing the most wonderful thing together and I was supposed to be supporting it and working with them.
After accepting the change that took place, I finally began appreciating him and we really came close again. (albeit, in a different sort of way. But still very close.)

Should people totally cut off ties and connections with previous friends or family members when they get married?? Absolutely not! It's wrong. People need to stay connected in some way with their friends from the past!
Are newlyweds possibly, understandably expected to get maybe a bit carried away with their newfound loves, their newfound troubles and challenges that they are faced with and most importantly... Their newfound lives?? Probably.
Newlyweds should definitely keep in touch with their previous life... But to get a bit carried away is totally understandable and should be nothing that a sincere apology shouldn't be able rectify.
People need to understand that and go with it.

Of course it hurts when someone gets married and maybe might seem to forget about you. But understand them please. Let them apologize and go on. Don't begrudge them for it forever.

It also makes the married individual feel so bad that his/her friends think they've been abandoned. It doesn't help very much!!


P.S. In case you think I was writing this with a specific intention to someone in mind. Have another beer please.
In case you're wondering what the Hecht that meant... Have another beer!!!

Gutte Voch!