Not in the mood of sleeping. YAAAY

So, I'm in bed. But I'm so not in the mood of sleep. I lie on the pillow and all these Machshovo Zoro's come creeping into my brain, reminding me that I haven't blogged in ages. I get this intense Taiveh to blog any kak that comes to mind and here I am. Hooray!

Oh my gosh!!! I just put on some headphones and some music and now I'm so in the mood of blogging. So get ready for a new post of absolutely nothing.

I just thought of an awesome line, nothing at all to do with my life... It could even possibly be put into the ranks of a 'Gasp'... "Josh of the week!!"
...
"If love is all about harmony, then why the heck are you so off tune??!!"

Again, that has absolutely nothing to do with my life... Which brings me to another point which I've been thinking about lately.

I was wondering and I wouldn't be surprised if others are wondering why I get married and all of a sudden I'm not so interested in Blogging. This used to be my life... It still is... So why don't I blog as much as I used to?!
I thought about it and decided that it's because most of the things I would blog about would be personal things about my life. But my life now has to do with a special someone else too.
First of all, I don't want to include someone else into my life and accidentally reveal secrets of their life. I also would never want any sort of Ayin Hora to be cast upon us together. Most of the things I used to blog about were pretty personal things going on in my life. But I was alone.
I can't do those things anymore. It's sort of a tick off... But that's why I try and substitute all the secrets with cool thoughts and videos... Whatever. Like I said... BLABBER!!!

I'm listening to music and I'm going crazy.
Music is the most incredible thing Hashem ever invented (Besides for Chassidus and the Rebbe [Was I allowed to say that?]). It's can literally take a person from the lowest levels of depression and pick him up to such happiness and joy. Why do simple tones of voice affect a person so much?? Have no idea!!!

This past Chanuka saw tons in my life.
Here is the list of Chanuka presents in our humble abode now.
1) Discman
2) Ipod Nano
3) Huge pillow
4) Massager
5) Calvin Klein sweater
6) New wallet
7) DKNY Sweater
8) Apple corer
9) Kosher by design Cookbook.
10) ??? Haha!! To find out tomorrow.

Chanuka was weird this year. I was in love. It's something new to me still. I'd better get used to it quick, because forever is creeping up to me.

Here's a little something I think about.
'Forever' is usually translated as all of the time ever past and future combined into one single level. If you are involved with somebody for ten minutes, then you will never experience 'forever' with that person. You've only been with them for ten minutes and 'forever' is waaay beyond ten minutes.
But here's another way of looking at it: Say, you're involved with someone for ten minutes. But those ten minutes are so intense and amazing, that they are complete! They totally transcend time. You are involved with that person for ten 'forever' minutes. In the ten minutes that you've spent together, you've both experienced 'forever'.
Another hundred happy years together!! But they had better be a hundred years 'forever'!!!

Again... This is where I am too scared to write anything about myself and my life now... Sorry, 'our' life now. I don't want Ch'V any Ayin Hora to come about. But all I'm going to say is that I should remain as happy and in love as I've been these past six months + forever and ever along with the rest of the world.

Lastly, perhaps this is what it means when people say Long live the Rebbe, king Moshiach forever and ever.

The Rebbe lived over 90 years. But every moment of his life was forever. Each second that he lived in a body, he transcended limitations within his limited body. That is living forever!!! he is still alive, because he was never limited by the flesh which tried squeezing him into the confines of time and space. Whatever... Just a thought.

And to sign off:

Father, I am calling from a foreign land.
My hearts desire to fulfill your plan.
Quench me with your waters, let your wisdom drown my lies.
Hold me by my little hand, fly me through the skies!!

Awesome lyrics from a privately recorded song by Hatomim Shneur Hayes...



Continuing on with the blogging...

I don't know. I want so much... I want happiness and I don't even know what happiness is. Physical happiness is what's always on my mind. But then, while listening to music here, I start thinking about true happiness.
All those thoughts that I've had for the past 'who-knows-how-long' about happiness and cool visions of a bright future... They all seem so unimportant while this song plays over the headphones. I want real happiness. I want a Rebbe to look at me one more time. That's all.

Should I turn off the music and continue on with my illusions of happiness. Or should I leave these headphones on my ears and push forward on the psychological quest for true joy?
Hmmmm.
That means that the future of my life is somewhat in the balance of plastic headphones.
My life is in the hands of a plastic 5$ pair of headphones.
Does that diminish the worth of my future?
Can an entire life's future be dependent on such petty physicality or is life worth much more than that?

Perhaps that's what is so great about life. That's what makes it equal Kaveyochol to Atzmus... Bimokom Sheato Moitzeh Gadluso, Ato Moitzeh Anvosnusoi!!
The greatest thing about life is that is all hangs on thin threads of relative nothingness!!

Okay!!! The headphones are coming off in two seconds... I'm am going to sleep and in a couple of years I know I will laugh at this post.

Good night to all those who still appreciate KAK!!!